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Dear Subscriber,
As you may have discovered by now, traveling is one of
my favorite topics. In previous editions of this
newsletter I have written about taking toddlers on
overnight hiking trips (http://www.nossgalenbaby.com/06_16_05.html)
and also about vacationing with infants
(http://www.nossgalenbaby.com/07_14_05.html). I
believe that you can get out of the house and go do
almost anything you dream of with your infants or
toddlers coming along for the ride (and having a lot
of fun at the same time!). But today I want to talk
to you about something very different, traveling
*without* your children.
Alison is a frequent poster on the parenting message
boards over at www.Twinstuff.com, and what she has
found is that a large number of new parents simply
cannot bring themselves to take a trip away from their
little ones. The primary reason? Guilt. They feel
guilty that they are not going to be there for their
babies, they feel guilty that they are putting the
responsibility for them on someone else's shoulders,
and they feel guilty to admit that it's fun to get
away from the kiddos for a little while.
Sometimes fear can be mixed into this feeling of guilt
as well, fear that something tragic will happen to
their babies while they are "shirking their
responsibilities" and having a fun weekend away.
I'm sure you can tell by no where I'm gonna be going
with this article. Simply stated, I think that it is
great if parents can get away from it all every once
in a while. It gives them a chance to focus on the
most important relationship, the relationship that
supplies the foundation for the rest of the family,
their marriage. It gives them a little time to go and
have fun and relieve some of the tension that builds
up while juggling children, work, and all the other
responsibilities we tend to take on in this society.
And before the little vacation is over, it has also
given them a healthy dose of missing their little
sweeties back home. I promise, you'll love them even
more after you've been missing them for a couple
days! :-)
So what to do about all the guilt and fear? If you
feel those things, it isn't as simple as just ignoring
them or tossing them out the window. Both the guilt
and the fear come naturally, as a part of your
parental instincts. If you didn't have those
instincts, you might not be much of a parent at all.
But you can't let them control you, either.
Step One is realizing that your little ones are going
to be fine without you for a couple of days, assuming
you have a loving, competent, experienced person to
take care of them while you are away. They might miss
you and cry a bit about that, but in most cases this
will pass fairly soon. Probably before you are even
down the street. And yes, it is possible that
something dramatic like a fire in your house could
occur, but you can't plan your life around worries
over freak occurances. Besides, your children are
being taken care of by someone you trust. And if you
truly trust that person, it means that you trust their
ability to handle emergency situations, not just dirty
diapers.
Step Two is realizing that happy parents make a happy
home. Even if nothing else is going right for your
family (bad finances, bad neighborhood, etc.) the only
thing most children will care about, especially the
smaller ones, is whether their parents love them and
love each other. If you have that, then your family
will be nearly invincible against any other challenges
that may come your way. And let's face it, it's
easier to be loving when you are happy than when you
are unhappy.
Parenting is the hardest (but most rewarding) job on
the planet, and you don't get to save up "vacation
days" or "sick days" for it, either. Even the very
best moms and dads are going to get tired and worn
down from time to time. They may even start to see
each other as just "mommy" and "daddy" rather than the
boy or girl they fell in love with those years ago.
The best cure that I can think of for that is taking a
nice trip, a little adventure that reminds you how
excited and happy you are to be together.
So start planning your next get-away right now. You
will come back from it refreshed and in love, both
with your spouse and with the little terrors you left
with grandma. :-)
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Have a fun week!
Sincerely,
Paul
Paul & Alison Martin
Noss Galen Baby LLC
www.NossGalenBaby.com
Copyright, Noss Galen Baby LLC 2005
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